Okay so all of a sudden everyone goes bad. The hobbit becomes a fat little thief. The main dwarf becomes a pain the butt and yeah. I don't like this book it's a pain in the butt. The hobbit steals the Arkenstone and Thorins after it. If the hobbit's caught he's dead meat. The hobbit won't return it. He's really cheap. I don't like really cheap people because they upset me. You probably don't either. The hobbit was a great way to find out what the real type of cheap is like.
The hobbit is now slylyt sneaking outside the castle because he tricked the fat dwarf, Bomber, to let him out. Bomeber is stupid and iggnorent. Earlier in the novel, he had an accident where he fell into this lake and caught a sleep all the time illness. It was annoying because he'd sleep and talk to himself and then sleep some more.
The dwarves. . . don't get me started about them. They are all pointless in the storyline and are bums. I really don't like them. Thorin their leader and fat old Bomber are the only dwarves who are nessacery in the book. COme to think of it Gandalf hasn't showed up in the story for a while. I don't know if he died of Prostate cancer or what but this is a problem. Well, I'll be waiting for him.
Friday, February 26, 2010
Hobbit 5
The hobbit is turning out more and more obvious. The ending is getting closer and closer. So this Dragon, Smaug, decides to beat the poop out of this one city which humans live in. Its a rather boring town because everyone there is a lame. So this guy named Bard lives there who is supposed to be a fantastic warrior but he really is a lame. All his lines are just really stupid like for example he said something about his lucky arrow never missing and then it doesn't miss. That had no excitement involved.
Well, the lame group fights and fights with buckets of water poured everywhere so the dragons fire doesn't burn them until people start chickening out. How lame is that? Well, Bard, the dumb warrior is still there never giving up until he has his last arrow(his lucky one that never misses). Number one, who in their right mind would save their lucky arrow for last . I would just use it first. Number two, he's a dumb butt. And number three. . . well there is no number three.
Bard eventually gets the shot and Smaug is down. Now my best guess is Smaug will come back to life later but I don't know yet. This book is still somewhat boring. I don't recommend it unless you really enjoy boredom. Some weirdos do though. It's true. I don't like those types of people
Well, the lame group fights and fights with buckets of water poured everywhere so the dragons fire doesn't burn them until people start chickening out. How lame is that? Well, Bard, the dumb warrior is still there never giving up until he has his last arrow(his lucky one that never misses). Number one, who in their right mind would save their lucky arrow for last . I would just use it first. Number two, he's a dumb butt. And number three. . . well there is no number three.
Bard eventually gets the shot and Smaug is down. Now my best guess is Smaug will come back to life later but I don't know yet. This book is still somewhat boring. I don't recommend it unless you really enjoy boredom. Some weirdos do though. It's true. I don't like those types of people
Monday, February 15, 2010
Hobbit 4
Okay this book has gotten kind of okay because the hobbit is starting to develop somewhat of a personality. Okay so now the hobbit and his fellow friends got trapped in the cave/castle or whatever(I don't really care what it is). I kind of like it now because the hobbit is acting like a man. He is leading the group of silly ugly dirty dwarfs through the dragons layer where they now find a ton of gold and stuff that used to be theirs. Now if the author was smart he would have the dwarfs either just die of hunger(because they basically haven't eaten for a while) or should just have the dragon come and suddenly die of old age. If the author did that then the book would have an ending and not just go on and on about some crazy old dwarfs who want their money back from this big mean dragon and this cowardly hobbit/thing who suddenly became a man and is leading the stupid dwarfs around.
I think that the story doesn't deserve to be named the hobbit. The hobbit should be the name of something better, like a musical, than some old book that happens to be "good" because it's a classic. I think it doesn't deserve to be read by me but I think I should,t stop ranting on it because it does deserve some respect. At least it has many chapters and a somewhat compatible storyline. In all, that is what I think abut it so far.
I think that the story doesn't deserve to be named the hobbit. The hobbit should be the name of something better, like a musical, than some old book that happens to be "good" because it's a classic. I think it doesn't deserve to be read by me but I think I should,t stop ranting on it because it does deserve some respect. At least it has many chapters and a somewhat compatible storyline. In all, that is what I think abut it so far.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Hobbit 3
Why am I still reading this terribleness! Its wrong. Okay so now I'm near the end. Thank goodness! Many things have happened. First, they do a lot of stupid things. The end. But, now my interested reader you will know the stupid acts they committed. So the dwarfs keep on arguing about Bilbo being gone. Then Bilbo comes back. They all think hes smart because no one noticed him come back. What an accomplishment? Honestly, if Bilbo came back with a dead goblin I wouldn't even be impressed.
After many other travels, they meet this man bear thing and its really weird but they tell him stories and hes doesn't believe them. The next day he finds out that they were true and he lends them ponies and gives them food. do stories really make the difference. So, they set off and Gandolf(the only one with some brains, cause hes a wizard) says hes going to leave them. That's when everyone realizes that they all die or they follow Bilbo so they can blame some one for their death.
At this point, they finally make it to the dragon who has all their shinny gold stuff and Bilbo takes a cup and the dragon gets mad. What Bilbo did is a mix between un-educated and cheap. Now he's talking to Smaug(the dragon) which is kind of weird, from the dragon's part because the dragon can kill him. So why doesn't he? Is it because the story will end there. Would any readers care if it did? I mean the dragon did steal it from them with a fight so fairs fair right? But no no no the story doesn't. If the author really wanted Bilbo to win in the end, why doesn't he just throw a sword in his eye and kill Smaug. That's sensible, leaves readers happy if they actually read the book to that point, and it makes the author content that good won.
After many other travels, they meet this man bear thing and its really weird but they tell him stories and hes doesn't believe them. The next day he finds out that they were true and he lends them ponies and gives them food. do stories really make the difference. So, they set off and Gandolf(the only one with some brains, cause hes a wizard) says hes going to leave them. That's when everyone realizes that they all die or they follow Bilbo so they can blame some one for their death.
At this point, they finally make it to the dragon who has all their shinny gold stuff and Bilbo takes a cup and the dragon gets mad. What Bilbo did is a mix between un-educated and cheap. Now he's talking to Smaug(the dragon) which is kind of weird, from the dragon's part because the dragon can kill him. So why doesn't he? Is it because the story will end there. Would any readers care if it did? I mean the dragon did steal it from them with a fight so fairs fair right? But no no no the story doesn't. If the author really wanted Bilbo to win in the end, why doesn't he just throw a sword in his eye and kill Smaug. That's sensible, leaves readers happy if they actually read the book to that point, and it makes the author content that good won.
Hobbit 2
Okay right now the Hobbit has gotten a little more interesting. Actually it has become a lot more. Bilbo(the hobbit) and his dwarf friends have started on this adventure but Mr.Complain like crazy(Bilbo) complains and complains. Many things happen until the point where I'm at now. So Bilbo and his buddies have been running from these goblins. They are really weird. Well, Bilbo just does something stupid ,trips and falls, and now no one can see him cause he's wearing this shiny ring with some power.
Then Bilbo wakes up out of a coma or whatever and does something somewhat smart. Starts going some where. Well, its smart because, you see, if he stayed there he probably would have rotted to death. OR maybe just die and then rot. Well eventually he meets an illiterate flesh eating thing named Gollem who has a soft spot for shiny rings. To prove to Bilbo how stupid he is he speaks in third person until Bilbo has some riddle off with him which could have lasted forever unless Bilbo hadn't been cheap and said the cheapest riddle ever.
In the end Bilbo beats Gollem up like he should have when they first met. this chapter left me with some thoughts and opinions. I'll do it in FAQ form. Number one: What do you think about the dwarfs? That they are using Bilbo and should forget about their golden treasures because they don't deserve them. Number two: What do you think about the riddle off between Gollem and Bilbo? That, even though it is the highlight of the story so far because the riddles are interesting, its as pointless as the rest of the book. Question three: What characters do you think could be deleted from the storyline? All of them exept ,Gollem. I like losers that eat anything they see( because I like eating and eating everything and so does Gollem), but that would completely delete most of the chapter so I think that it should stay the way it is.
Then Bilbo wakes up out of a coma or whatever and does something somewhat smart. Starts going some where. Well, its smart because, you see, if he stayed there he probably would have rotted to death. OR maybe just die and then rot. Well eventually he meets an illiterate flesh eating thing named Gollem who has a soft spot for shiny rings. To prove to Bilbo how stupid he is he speaks in third person until Bilbo has some riddle off with him which could have lasted forever unless Bilbo hadn't been cheap and said the cheapest riddle ever.
In the end Bilbo beats Gollem up like he should have when they first met. this chapter left me with some thoughts and opinions. I'll do it in FAQ form. Number one: What do you think about the dwarfs? That they are using Bilbo and should forget about their golden treasures because they don't deserve them. Number two: What do you think about the riddle off between Gollem and Bilbo? That, even though it is the highlight of the story so far because the riddles are interesting, its as pointless as the rest of the book. Question three: What characters do you think could be deleted from the storyline? All of them exept ,Gollem. I like losers that eat anything they see( because I like eating and eating everything and so does Gollem), but that would completely delete most of the chapter so I think that it should stay the way it is.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
The Hobbit
Okay so now I'm on chapter XII and of course we start out with a problem: I don't speak that language. I have no idea what XII is and I'm too lazy to count thorough the table of contents just like probably half the people who read this book. The whole book is like that. All old English. Whoever this J. R. R. Tolkien is I don't like him. He's so cheap that he doesn't translate the book to our language cause it probably costs to much money.
My next problem is that the Hobbit, Bilbo, is just a plain dwarf. The only difference between the dwarfs he travels with and him is that he doesn't have a beard. If he doesn't want to be Amish that's his problem but Mr.JRR of course makes this guy a brand new species called hobbits. LAME! And you know what else is a problem? Why does the author make the guy so wimpy if he's obviously going to fight this dragon and kick his butt!
But enough hating. This book is actually kind of good. The plot is thorough and fat guys have disadvantages. Pretty realistic. But I'm sorry that reminds me of another problem. Bombur, the fat dwarf, never even loses a pound even though they walk all day and have nothing to eat. Does he have an eating disorder? I don't know, but if he doesn't he has some serious digestive problems. Also, since he's so disadvantaged, why doesn't he take on weight watchers. He's clearly an idiot.
My next problem is that the Hobbit, Bilbo, is just a plain dwarf. The only difference between the dwarfs he travels with and him is that he doesn't have a beard. If he doesn't want to be Amish that's his problem but Mr.JRR of course makes this guy a brand new species called hobbits. LAME! And you know what else is a problem? Why does the author make the guy so wimpy if he's obviously going to fight this dragon and kick his butt!
But enough hating. This book is actually kind of good. The plot is thorough and fat guys have disadvantages. Pretty realistic. But I'm sorry that reminds me of another problem. Bombur, the fat dwarf, never even loses a pound even though they walk all day and have nothing to eat. Does he have an eating disorder? I don't know, but if he doesn't he has some serious digestive problems. Also, since he's so disadvantaged, why doesn't he take on weight watchers. He's clearly an idiot.
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